Depression: A few words for relief
March 9, 2018 by Paul McKeever
Heart broken, now alone, you feel your life slow to a stop. Looking out two windows – tunnels? – life all around you continues rushing along to the music of light hearted banter, smiles, or worries about deadlines. Your anxiety is heightened by the feeling that everyone sees your despair; sees you spiraling down a hole; is watching you like a rubber-necker watching the scene of a 3-car pile-up.
Eventually, the horror sets-in: upon closer inspection, you discover that everyone actually appears *oblivious* to your pain. To them, you’re just the same old Sam, and they’re standing right next to you, even while from your perspective, they’re far away and somehow a bit unreal…like characters on a movie screen.
“My god”, you say to yourself, “I hope nobody asks me if I’m okay”: you don’t think you could take that. You’ll fall apart if that happens.
Then, worse: no one asks. “Does no one care?”
Then, worst: “They don’t…*want*…to know because, somehow, they already do, and they just don’t want to get drawn into my vortex of pain. They’d rather tell themselves I’ll be fine…and then keep well away from me until I’m the person I used to be again.”
[…]
Sound familiar? Well, let me just tell you this: All of those people you see rushing about, seemingly carefree…they’ve all been exactly where you are. At least once. Probably, a few times. Some – even the happiest-looking people…arguably, *especially* the happiest-looking people – many times.
Life’s not an unrelenting movement. We all grind to a halt from time to time, though at different times than those around us. This may be your time.
As alone as you might feel in your experience, you’re not really alone at all. The cause of your pain may be unique, but the reality and intensity of the pain is not. You’re not special. You’re just human. “Why me?”. Answer: Not just you, everyone. All of those happy faces around you, and all of those great relationships, and all of those advancements made by others…all of those good things likewise will come to a rest for a while, for each person, at his or her own time.
In that sense, we are all alike. In that sense, you are never, ever alone. It’s just that you’ve been benched while the game continues before you. You’ll be back in it very soon.
Don’t hide away. Don’t keep your pain a secret. Don’t feel embarrassed by it. Everyone around you knows what it’s like and, when you’re ready to move on, everyone will still be there with you, just as you will be there when it’s the other person’s time.
Have a banana (they’re good for your nerves). And then think about how silly bananas look. Smile. It’s a start.
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